This is the last short article series for Topic 4: Relationship with the Spouses and today I wanted to share with you elements that can be hydrolysed from the chemical bonding between spouses from our role models: the wives of the Prophets (may Allah have mercy upon them) and Companions of the Prophet (peace be upon them).
Allah (The Most High) states:
“And among His Signs is this that He created for you wives (spouses) from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are, indeed, signs for people who reflect.”
[Quran, Surah Rum, Verse 21]
The relationship between a husband and wife initiates as a simple covalent bonding and gradually becomes stronger with affection and mercy. Most of the wives of the Prophets (peace be upon them) had gentleness, compassion and solitude towards their husbands whereas some as the likes of the wives of Prophet Lot and Noah were inconsiderate towards their husbands and Allah (The Most High).
A wife of the Prophet does not mean that they will not be accounted for everyone including the Prophets (peace be upon them), generations before us and generations after us will all be accounted on the Day of Judgement as we are all the servants of Allah (The Most High) and no one can intercede for another as mentioned in the following verse:
“Allah presents an example of those who disbelieved: the wife of Noah and the wife of Lot. They were under two of Our righteous servants but betrayed them, so those prophets did not avail them from Allah at all, and it was said, ‘Enter the Fire with those who enter.’”
[Quran, Surah Al-Tahrim, Verse 10]
Marriage is bliss and love cannot exist if there is no respect. One needs to remember that the one you are married to is a Muslim before a husband. We need to aim to improve and encourage one another to be better Muslims. This requires tolerance and patience. Prophet (peace be upon him said):
“The best property that a man can have is a tongue that remembers Allah, a heart full of gratitude and a believing wife who assists him in his faith. “
I myself learnt the beauty of marriage and its virtues through the role models mentioned in the following hadith:
Ibn Abbas (may Allah have mercy upon him) said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“The best of the women of Paradise are Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, Fatima bint Muhammad, Asiyah bint Mazahim (the wife of Pharaoh), and Maryam bint Imran"
Khadijah was the first woman who believed in the message of Prophet (peace be upon him) without any evidence. She calmed her husband down and gave him solace when he had his first revelation reminding him of Allah (The Most High) with the exact words below:
‘By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you"
She was able to continue to work besides family life and had great success. She supported her husband until she returned to Allah (The Most High) in 619 AD. Her husband, our Prophet (peace be upon him) cried after her death. This displays the attributes of trust, affection, love, loyalty and support between a husband and wife and vice versa. The below verses were revealed on how the wives should treat their husband:
“O Consorts of the Prophet! Ye are not like any of the (other) women. If ye do fear (Allah) be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak ye a speech (that is) just.”
[Quran, Surah Al Ahzab, Verse 32]
"Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has faith, verily to him will We give a new life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to their actions."
[Qur'an, Surah Al Nahl, Verse 97]
One of their daughters, Fatima (may Allah have mercy upon her) had an amazing relationship with her father Muhammad (peace be upon him) and her husband Ali bin Abi Talib (may Allah have mercy upon him). Following the death of her mother, Khadijah (may Allah have mercy upon her), she cared for her father with devotion and comforted him as he faced hardship from the community and even cleaned his wounds (physical and emotional). She fed the poor and was kind in character. She and her husband had an amazing relationship in which she found in him a brother and friend. She tried to console him in all matters and this shows the depth of love and respect they had for one another.
“For Muslim men and women - for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in God's praise - for them has God prepared forgiveness and great reward.”
[Qur'an, Surah Al Ahzab, Verse 35]
May Allah allow us to become from the believing Ameen.
Another amazing role model is Hajar (may Allah have mercy upon her), the wife of Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him). The Prophet (peace be upon him) was commanded by Allah (The Most High) to go for a few days and she agreed due to the satisfaction that Allah (The Most High) will be with her. He left them a leather jug filled with water called a Siqa and a bag of dates and made the following dua:
“O our Lord! I have made some of my offspring to dwell in an uncultivated valley by Your Sacred House; in order, O our Lord, that they may perform the prayer, so fill some hearts among men with love towards them, and (O Allah) provide them with fruits so that they may give thanks.”
[Quran, Surah Ibrahim, Verse 37].
However, this ran out before Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) returned. This was her test. She began searching for the basic needs that we take for granted, food and water and walked between the hills of Safaa and Marwa in the desert. This occurred seven times. She then saw an angel dug a hole where a water source flowed out at a constant level; the Zamzam water. Each year during Hajj (pilgrimage) we perform the walk seven times between Safa and Marwa. The presence of the Zamzam is how Makkah initiated with its inhabitants.
Ibn Abbas (may Allah have mercy upon him) narrated that:
“The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, ‘May Allah bestow His Mercy upon Isma’eel’s mother! If she had left Zamzam – or if she had not cupped her hand – Zamzam would have been a flowing spring.’ Ibn Abbas then said, ‘So she drank and nursed her son. The angel then said to her, ‘Do not fear abandonment, for a House for Allah (the Kaa’bah) will be built in this area by this boy and his father, and most certainly, Allah does not abandon His people.”
This shows the level of trust they had in Allah )The Most High) with certainty and Tawakkul (reliance). Another example of patience is the wife of the Prophet Ayub (peace be upon him) who stood by her husband during every calamity and nursed him when he had an unknown illness.
Thus, my dear sisters and brothers in Islam and humanity, indeed we are not married to Prophets but we are married to husbands who are our door to Jannah besides our parents inshaAllah.
“Enter Paradise, you and your wives, in happiness.”
[Quran, Surah al-Zukhruf, Verse 70]
It was narrated from Abdulrahman ibn Awf (may Allah have mercy upon him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“If a woman does her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter whichever of the gates of Paradise you want.”
The chemical bonding between the husband and wife cannot be measured. The amazing virtues that can be learnt from the above role models are the value they saw in the relationship with Allah and one another in a marriage, regardless of the test, one party was the water that extinguished the fire. Alhamdulilah, for our amazing husbands, may we always be the coolness of their eyes. Ameen.
This is the end of Topic 4 and it has been decided between my husband and myself that he will continue with the remaining topics of the Chemical Bonding series.