Julaybib

Julaybib was small, short and was described as being ‘damim’ meaning of an ugly, repulsive appearance. More disturbing for the society, his lineage was not known. No records could be found of what tribe his belonged to. He was judged on the basis that his family were not from a vital family nor tribal connection; thus, he was not getting any support from the society due to his socio-economic status. All that was known was that he was an Arab and was from the Ansar. Was there any hope of being treated equally and with respect? He was overlooked.

Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to one of the ansars ‘I want to have your daughter married. The Ansar replied ‘Oh Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him, what a delight that would be’. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said ‘I do not want her for myself, it is for Julaybib’.

The Ansari was too shocked and said ‘I will consult with her mother’. He went to his wife and told his wife what occurred. His wife was happy for the Prophet’s request of marriage but when he mentioned Julaybib, she protested ‘To Julaybib! No never, we shall not marry her to him’.

However, the daughter said, ‘Do you refuse Prophet (peace and blessings be upon)’s request?, I am satisfied to whatever Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him deems good for me’. She agreed to the marriage because she had a clear understanding of following the sunnah (commands of the Prophet [peace and blessings be upon him]). She disregarded the social pressures and had confidence in the wisdom of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings on him).

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said when he heard what occurred, made a supplication and said: "O Lord, bestow good on her in abundance and make not her life one of toil and trouble." 

They lived together happily until he was killed on an expedition with the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) asked his other companions to search for him on the field. When they found him, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) went to his body and said ‘He killed seven and then was killed? This man is of me and I am of him’. He repeated it several times and held his body and dug him a grave and placed him in it. He considered him a martyr and did not wash him before burial.

Julaybib due to his lineage and appearance was considered a social outcast. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged and helped him. It increased his confidence was able to do many courageous things and sacrificed a lot. This can be emphasised when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). 'This man is of me and I am of him'
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Reflection:
1.       On many occasions, I was discriminated by the colour of my skin from the age of 10 from different ethnic communities: Arab and Asian predominantly. I was called ‘nigger’, ‘you look black’, ‘your dad’s a slave’ ‘black olive’ ‘you are ugly’ ‘you are not arab, you must be african’ ‘how will your children look like’ ‘shiddy’ ‘kali’ ‘Abda’ ‘negro’. Many people did not want to associate with my mother because they disapproved of my father. They would only invite my mother, me and my siblings and did not invite my father. I never chose the colour of the skin but I am grateful with the shade of colour that Allah has given me. I do not wear foundation nor concealer every day because I do not want to hide my true identity. I may not be attractive, but what stops you associating with me at that point? Why could you not play with me at that point? Why could you not be my friend?
Dear brothers and sisters, when you raise your children, do not let them grow hatred in them towards other children of other races. Raise them to be open-minded and mix with all. This will help them to work and study with a variety of races.
2.       On many occasions, I was discriminated because I went into further education. My father nor mother are a doctor nor went into further education nor they of a middle-class nor rich heritage. A person with character I proud of who they are. I get asked ‘What does your mother or father do?’ Why does the socio-economic status matter when you want to further your education? Since when did seeking knowledge depend on the person’s family lineage or heritage. Seeking education is an option.
3.       At the age of 14, I was discriminated because I was a muslim and had my scarf pulled off. Why does what I wear be a concern to you. You wear what you want, I wear what I want as part of my identity as a Muslim.
This is just a short insight of my journey in this enigmatic world. If you look into the pigmentation of my eyes’ iris, you will see they are coloured brown. But if you visualise deeper, you will find there are scarred doors where some are closed, others are still open for reflection.
Be privileged to be who you are and how you look like. Dear reader, you are beautiful and was created by the best of the Creators. God gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you and to love you.
Love all and hate none.