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    • The meaning of happiness
    • Do I trust my senses?
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      • Topic 1 - Relationship with Allah
      • Topic 2 - Relationship with our fathers
      • Topic 3 - Relationship with our mothers
      • Topic 4 - Relationship with the spouses
      • Topic 5 - Relationship with Siblings
      • Topic 6: Relationship with Grandparents
    • Allah my sole companion
    • Old is Gold
    • The Man with the Lion's heart
    • Khadija radia allahu anha
    • Maryam - a source of inspiration
    • Tied Bonds
    • Jewels of the Household
  • Medicine and Health
    • MONDAY WEEKLY HEALTH SHOW
    • Friday Inspirations: Life Lessons Through Anatomy >
      • Take care of your heart
      • Do not carry the worries of life but the tools to make a positive change in it.
      • Free your mind and control your emotions
      • Take the good from every situation
      • Digest and Absorb knowledge
      • Filter your contacts
      • Sweet and Sour
      • The tongue that can bring Peace and War
      • My corrected vision
      • Are you hearing or are you listening?
    • What is cancer and its types?
    • Healthcare Publications >
      • The Eye Issue 13
      • The food journey
      • Diagnosis and Treatment of cancer
    • Lifestyle >
      • Maintaining Healthy Lifestyle
      • Nutrition and Exercise >
        • Drinking Water
        • Benefits of Avocado
        • Benefits of Honey
        • Benefits of Blackseed oil
        • Cancer >
          • Biology of Cancer >
            • Introduction to DNA
            • What are viruses?
            • Why viruses are replicated?
            • Herpes Virus
            • Viruses and Cancer
            • Vaccines
            • Penicllium and Pseudomona bacteria
            • Adaptive Immune Response
            • Innate Immune Response
          • Types of Cancer >
            • Breast Cancer
            • Prostate Cancer
            • Malignant Melanoma and Obesity
            • Neurological Tumours
          • Cancer Treatment >
            • Chemotherapy: A Introduction
        • Swimming: A sunnah issue 15
        • Yoga
        • A Good Health Makes You Rich
    • Respiratory >
      • Introduction to lungs
      • Asthma
    • The Bone and Muscles >
      • Cystic Fibrosis
      • Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy
      • Lower Back Pain
      • Neck Pain
      • Arthiritis
      • Comfort during pregnancy
    • The Heart and the Blood >
      • Heart Physiology
      • Coronary Heart Disease
      • Thrombocytopenia and its diagnosis
      • Haemolytic anaemia and its diagnosis
    • Diabetes Inspidus
    • Medicine and Islam >
      • The link between Medicine and Science with Glorious Quran >
        • Introduction
        • Embryology and the human development
        • The Power of Human Senses
        • The Brain - The Human Body's Main Processor
        • The wonders of the heart anatomy and physiology
        • The Conceptual Art of The Bone
        • The extraordinary tubular network of the small intestine and the conclusion of the research project
      • Medicine Through Islamic History
      • Healthy Wealthy tips for Ramadan
      • Prophetic Medicine
      • Ruqyah
      • Healing through Ruqya
      • Hajj and Eclipse >
        • Hajj and Health
        • Solar Eclipse
      • Spiritual Detox, Supplications and Recommended Reading
  • Spiritual Development
    • Standing up with purpose
    • Youtube Reminders
    • Quran - My Source of Solace
    • Tafseer Surah Al Fatihah
    • Temporary magnetic attraction
    • The Art of Dua
    • Remaining Faithful
    • Controlling Anger
    • My relationship with the Quran
    • Tawakkul
    • Everlasting love with Allah
    • My father who inspired me to do dawah,
  • Community Matters
    • Where is the Ummah?
    • Doses of Inspiration >
      • The importance of Amanah
      • Preparation for the Inevitable Hereafter
      • Are muslim women oppressed?
      • My thoughts on evolution
    • Giving charity and the fitnah of wealth
    • Depression in society
    • Reflection on Racism
    • A Muslimah's Identity
    • Teaching Children to Pray
    • Loving people for the sake of Allah
    • Connecting with sisters
    • Poem on sisterly love
  • Magnetic Love With Ramadan
    • Self-analysis and preparation of Ramadan
    • Poem on Ramadan
    • Mannerism Whilst Fasting
    • Reconnecting with Ramadan 2015
    • Season 1
    • Season 2
    • Season 3
    • Season 4 >
      • Part 1 Reminiscing how the Sahaba spent Ramadan
      • Part 2 Polishing Our Character
      • Part 3: Steadfastness after Ramadan
    • Season 5 >
      • The faith of Ibrahim
      • Pearls of Ramadan
      • Inspiring individuals from world history
      • The perserverance of Asiyah
    • Season 6 >
      • Pre-Ramadan Reminders
      • Daily Ramadan boost
      • Ramadan events
    • Season 7 >
      • Cementing our Purpose during COVID-19
      • Health and Well-being
    • Season 8
    • Season 9
    • Special addition to Season 9 Post- Fajr Reflections
    • Growth Through Ramadan
  • Personal Motivational Quotes
    • Monday Motivation Season 1
    • General Daily Motivation Season 2
    • Opportunities to fast
    • Friday reminders
    • Lessons from Surah Kahf
    • *NEW* Sunday moments
  • Spoken Word Poetry
    • Themes >
      • Black History Month: Actions Not Words
      • Developing Yourself
      • Relationship with Allah
      • Character
      • Preparation for the Akhirah
      • Parents
      • Friendship
      • Humanity and Society
      • Reflections
      • Nature and Weather
      • Marriage and my amazing husband
  • Art
    • SUMMER FUN The Holy Land for Kids Colouring book!
    • Islamic Calligraphy
    • Customised names - Arabic Calligraphy
    • Special Occasions
    • Nature
    • Crafts: Home decor ideas
    • Crafts: Jewellery design
  • History
    • The Revival of Our Sacred Landmarks
    • History Podcasts
    • The magnitude of Islamic History
    • An insight to the Islamic Art of the Abbasid dynasty
    • April Fools Day
    • The Eminent Companions of Prophet salla allahu allayhi wa salam Season 1 >
      • Lessons of the Father of Kittens Abu Hurayrah (RA)
      • The pure faith of Ramla bint Abi Sufyan (RA)
      • A man of honour and dignity - Zubair Ibn Al Awam (RA)
      • Zaid ibn Harith - the beloved one (RA)
      • Julaybib (RA)
      • The Custodian of the Ummah - Abu Ubaydah ibn Jarrah
      • The man of paradise Bilal (RA)
      • Dhun Noorayn Uthman ibn Affan (RA)
      • Wisdom of Rumaysah bint Milhan (R
    • *Season 2 - NEW* The Eminent Companions of Prophet salla allahu allayhi wa salam >
      • Commitment of Umm Waraqah
      • The Bravery of Saad ibn Muadh
      • Consistency of Bara ibn Azib RA
      • The courage of Fatima bint Asad
    • Valentines Day
  • Guest writers
    • Zahra Makeen
    • Jamila Jones
    • Tasnim Arbee
    • Asqarini Hasbi
    • Umm Ruqaiya
    • Suleiman Athman >
      • The Quest of Salvation Part 1 of 3 sequel
      • The Quest of Salvation Part II of 3
      • The Quest of Salvation Part 3 of 3
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  Welcome

The Insincere Muslim By Tasnim Arbee

9/16/2018

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Picture
So…I have been an insincere muslim for a long time. I mean I do the things I’m supposed to…I pray, I dress appropriately, I do the mandatory recitation and I observe the special nights. I’ve realized though that I was never sincere in my efforts.
I tried…I really tried but I didn’t feel anything.
And I am a feeling sort of person.
I realized that my mistake was in trying to duplicate the rituals and efforts that I saw people around me perform. Things that I was taught in madressa. I can’t even say things I took away from a Jummah bayyaan because back then, I didn’t even hear the bayaan.
I realized that I was not getting it. I would see grown men in tears at the mere mention of our beloved Nabi SAW and wondered what that was about. I would hear ladies exclaim “Alhamdulillah” at taleem and think “okayyyy”. I just didn’t get it.
Much, much later on in life I realized that I needed to find my own unique way to Him. I needed to find the things that would connect me to him. If I could not connect, I could not be sincere. If Allah SWT expected the same efforts from all of us he would have created us the same way…right? If he created us unique, surely he expected us to find unique ways to reach him?
So I searched and I explored. I explored the Quraan in English. I watched YouTube videos. I signed up for some classes. I found myself gravitating toward people who, strangely enough, were having similar thoughts. I tried to find a way…find my way to Him. I would speak to Him in my head. I would speak to Him when I was having a bad day. I would speak to Him when I was having a good day. When I lost my temper. In the shower. Having a cuppa. When I needed something. When I was happy. I caught myself and wondered if this was normal. Did everyone do this? Was I going a little bit more crazy?
And I realized that it did not matter. It actually didn’t. I figured if I was doing the things He commanded me to and I sincerely prayed for guidance and this was where I got, then surely this was where He was trying to lead me
I will continue to do this until He is not an afterthought…but an every-thought.
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