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  • Home
  • Personal Development
    • Standing up with purpose
    • Quran - My Source of Solace
    • Tafseer Surah Al Fatihah
    • Temporary magnetic attraction
    • The Art of Dua
    • Remaining Faithful
    • Motivational Quotes by Hafsa
    • Do I trust my senses?
    • Controlling Anger
    • Maryam - a source of inspiration
    • Doses of Inspiration >
      • The importance of Amanah
      • Preparation for the Inevitable Hereafter
      • Are muslim women oppressed?
      • Giving charity and the fitnah of wealth
      • Reflection on Racism
      • My thoughts on evolution
    • Tawakkul
    • Repeated Disappointments
    • The meaning of happiness
    • Depression in society
    • Motivation to Study
  • Medicine and Health
    • The link between Medicine and Science with Glorious Quran >
      • Introduction
      • Embryology and the human development
      • The Power of Human Senses
      • The Brain - The Human Body's Main Processor
      • The wonders of the heart anatomy and physiology
      • The Conceptual Art of The Bone
      • The extraordinary tubular network of the small intestine and the conclusion of the research project
    • COVID-19 Pandemic >
      • Maintaining Healthy Lifestyle
    • Oncology >
      • Introduction to DNA
      • What is cancer and its types?
      • Diagnosis and Treatment of cancer
      • Chemotherapy: A Introduction
      • Breast Cancer
      • Prostate Cancer
      • Bladder Cancer
      • Malignant Melanoma and Obesity
      • Neurological Tumours
      • The link between viruses and cancer
    • Respiratory >
      • Introduction to lungs
      • Asthma
      • Cystic Fibrosis
    • Rheumatology and Orthopaedics >
      • Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy
      • Lower Back Pain
      • Neck Pain
      • Arthiritis
    • Cardiology >
      • Heart Physiology
      • Coronary Heart Disease
    • Endocrinology >
      • Diabetes Inspidus
    • Ophthalmology >
      • The Eye Issue 13
    • Gastroenterology >
      • The food journey
    • Immunology >
      • Adaptive Immune Response
      • Innate Immune Response
    • Haematology >
      • Thrombocytopenia and its diagnosis
      • Haemolytic anaemia and its diagnosis
    • Gynaecology >
      • Comfort during pregnancy
    • Hajj and Eclipse >
      • Hajj and Health
      • Solar Eclipse
    • Microbial disease >
      • What are viruses?
      • Why viruses are replicated?
      • Herpes Virus
      • Vaccines
      • Penicllium and Pseudomona bacteria
    • Nutrition and Exercise >
      • Munch Before You Crunch
      • Drinking Water
      • Benefits of Avocado
      • Benefits of Honey
      • Benefits of Blackseed oil
      • Healthy Wealthy tips for Ramadan
      • Prophetic Medicine
      • Swimming: A sunnah issue 15
      • Yoga
    • Healing through Islam >
      • Healing through Ruqya
      • Spiritual Detox, Supplications and Recommended Reading
      • Ruqyah
    • Medicine Through Islamic History
    • A Good Health Makes You Rich
  • Relationships
    • Chemical Bonding >
      • An introduction
      • Topic 1 - Relationship with Allah
      • Topic 2 - Relationship with our fathers
      • Topic 3 - Relationship with our mothers
      • Topic 4 - Relationship with the spouses
      • Topic 5 - Relationship with Siblings
      • Topic 6: Relationship with Grandparents
    • Everlasting love with Allah
    • Allah my sole companion
    • Loving people for the sake of Allah
    • My father who inspired me to do dawah,
    • Old is Gold
    • Connecting with sisters
    • Poem on sisterly love
    • Teaching Children to Pray
    • My relationship with the Quran
    • A Muslimah's Identity
    • Khadija radia allahu anha
    • The Eminent Companions of Prophet salla allahu allayhi wa salam >
      • Lessons of the Father of Kittens Abu Hurayrah (RA)
      • Julaybib (RA)
      • The pure faith of Ramla bint Abi Sufyan (RA)
      • A man of honour and dignity - Zubair Ibn Al Awam (RA)
      • Zaid ibn Harith - the beloved one (RA)
      • The Custodian of the Ummah - Abu Ubaydah ibn Jarrah
      • The man of paradise Bilal (RA)
      • Dhun Noorayn Uthman ibn Affan (RA)
      • Wisdom of Rumaysah bint Milhan (R
    • The Man with the Lion's heart
    • Tied Bonds
    • Jewels of the Household
  • Magnetic Love With Ramadan
    • Where is the Ummah?
    • Self-analysis and preparation of Ramadan
    • Poem on Ramadan
    • Mannerism Whilst Fasting
    • Reconnecting with Ramadan 2015
    • Season 1
    • Season 2
    • Season 3
    • Season 4 >
      • Part 1 Reminiscing how the Sahaba spent Ramadan
      • Part 2 Polishing Our Character
      • Part 3: Steadfastness after Ramadan
    • Season 5 >
      • The faith of Ibrahim
      • Pearls of Ramadan
      • Inspiring individuals from world history
      • The perserverance of Asiyah
    • Season 6 >
      • Pre-Ramadan Reminders
      • Daily Ramadan boost
      • Ramadan events
    • Season 7 >
      • Cementing our Purpose during COVID-19
      • Health and Well-being
  • Spoken Word Poetry
    • Themes >
      • Developing Yourself
      • Relationship with Allah
      • Character
      • Preparation for the Akhirah
      • Parents
      • Friendship
      • Humanity and Society
      • Reflections
      • Nature and Weather
      • Marriage and my amazing husband
  • Art
    • Islamic Calligraphy
    • Customised names - Arabic Calligraphy
    • Special Occasions
    • Nature
    • Crafts: Home decor ideas
    • Crafts: Jewellery design
  • History
    • The Revival of Our Sacred Landmarks
    • History Podcasts
    • The magnitude of Islamic History
    • An insight to the Islamic Art of the Abbasid dynasty
    • The history of April Fools Day
    • The history of Valentines
  • Guest writers
    • Katie Quirk
    • Zahra Makeen
    • Jamila Jones
    • Tasnim Arbee
    • Asqarini Hasbi
    • Umm Ruqaiya
    • Suleiman Athman >
      • The Quest of Salvation Part 1 of 3 sequel
      • The Quest of Salvation Part II of 3
      • The Quest of Salvation Part 3 of 3
  • Community
    • The Abbas Foundation Trust
    • The Farah Saeed Trust
    • Iftar Networking UK
    • SOS Muslim Project
  • NOOR SCIENCE TUTORING
  • Contact us
Welcome

The Insincere Muslim By Tasnim Arbee

9/16/2018

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So…I have been an insincere muslim for a long time. I mean I do the things I’m supposed to…I pray, I dress appropriately, I do the mandatory recitation and I observe the special nights. I’ve realized though that I was never sincere in my efforts.
I tried…I really tried but I didn’t feel anything.
And I am a feeling sort of person.
I realized that my mistake was in trying to duplicate the rituals and efforts that I saw people around me perform. Things that I was taught in madressa. I can’t even say things I took away from a Jummah bayyaan because back then, I didn’t even hear the bayaan.
I realized that I was not getting it. I would see grown men in tears at the mere mention of our beloved Nabi SAW and wondered what that was about. I would hear ladies exclaim “Alhamdulillah” at taleem and think “okayyyy”. I just didn’t get it.
Much, much later on in life I realized that I needed to find my own unique way to Him. I needed to find the things that would connect me to him. If I could not connect, I could not be sincere. If Allah SWT expected the same efforts from all of us he would have created us the same way…right? If he created us unique, surely he expected us to find unique ways to reach him?
So I searched and I explored. I explored the Quraan in English. I watched YouTube videos. I signed up for some classes. I found myself gravitating toward people who, strangely enough, were having similar thoughts. I tried to find a way…find my way to Him. I would speak to Him in my head. I would speak to Him when I was having a bad day. I would speak to Him when I was having a good day. When I lost my temper. In the shower. Having a cuppa. When I needed something. When I was happy. I caught myself and wondered if this was normal. Did everyone do this? Was I going a little bit more crazy?
And I realized that it did not matter. It actually didn’t. I figured if I was doing the things He commanded me to and I sincerely prayed for guidance and this was where I got, then surely this was where He was trying to lead me
I will continue to do this until He is not an afterthought…but an every-thought.
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