We have reached the end of Topic 3 on the relationship with our mothers. So far, we have covered the responsibilities of the mother towards the children and vice versa. We also gave insight regarding the status and position of a mother in family and Islam. Today, we aim to discuss the role of the mother in society and community.
So what is the difference between society and community?
A community is related to a group of individuals living within the same geographical area; whereas society is a combination of various forms of relationships. The link that associates the mother with society can be described via a beautiful quote I have come across below:
Women are one half of society which gives birth to the other half so it is as if they are the entire society.[Ibn Qayyim]
Mothers are fundamental in providing a cohesive society that integrates positive virtues such as respect, care and manners. Children are the heart of the community that holds the society together and create a happy, safe and healthy environment preventing antisocial behaviour and crime. The role of the family is to provide support, stability and love. My husband covered the relationship with the father in Topic 2. Both Topics have highlighted the role of a mother and father, how they complement one another to build a society as mentioned in the following hadith:
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“Surely! Every one of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges; The Imam (ruler) of the people is the guardian and is responsible for his subjects; a man is the guardian of his family (household) and is responsible for his subjects; a woman is the guardian of her husband's home and his children and is responsible for them, and the slave of a man is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it. Surely, every one of you is a guardian and responsible for his charges."
[Sahih Bukhari 9:89:252]
The type of chemical bonding between a mother and father with the children is covalent bonding where the valence electrons in the orbitals bond with one another. A covalent bond consists of two non-metal atoms; so it has similar genetic traits from the mother and father. The relationship between the mother and children cannot be severed nor broken as covalent bonds are strong. Some relationships in society are not agreeable due to a difference in the polarity of the covalent bonding. Some covalent bondings are polar whereas; other forms of bonding are non-polar. However, regardless of the type of polarity, manners and respect is essential and comes before knowledge. Imam Malik ( May Allah have mercy upon him) said:
“My mother would dress me up in the clothes of the scholars while I was still a young boy and she would tell me, ‘Go to the Masjid and seek knowledge from Imām ar-Rabiʿah; study his manners before you take from his knowledge.’”
Therefore, our mothers are our first teachers and are full of wisdom. They have worked hard to bring us the best version who we are. Our experiences shape us and strengthen us when we interact with society and deal with all forms of human behaviour. Similarly, the support from communities to teach children is what also builds society and generations to come to be ambassadors of Islam. Our tongues are part of who we are; there are different taste buds. However, there is also a saying that says listen to words that are honest and direct, then words from one that flatters and laughs at you.
Thus, After Allah, your parents are gems who love you and have your best interest at heart.
If you see your mother and father every day, thank Allah for they are an indescribable blessing. The mother has Paradise under her feet and; the father is the middle door to Jannah.
Next Topic 4, we will look at the relationship with spouses that also help us go to Jannah:
Abdul Rahman ibn ‘Awf (may Allah have mercy upon him) said that Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“If a woman does her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter whichever of the gates of Paradise you want.”
[Ahmad, graded as Hasan by Albani in Sahih Al Targhib]
In another narration, Anas (may Allah have mercy upon him) said that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“Shall I not tell you about your men in Paradise?” We said: Yes, O Messenger of Allah. He said: “The Prophet will be in Paradise, the Siddeeq will be in Paradise, the man who visits his brother who lives far away and visits him only for the sake of Allah will be in Paradise. Shall I not tell you about your women in Paradise?” We said: Yes, O Messenger of Allah. He said: “The loving and fertile one who, if she gets angry or is mistreated or her husband gets angry says, ‘Here is my hand in your hand, I shall not sleep until you are pleased.’”
[Al Tabarani in his book Al Mujam Al Awsat, graded Hasan by Al Albani in Sahih Al Targhib]
May Allah accept Ameen.
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