Dear friends, I hope you had a great Eid.
In this time, we have begun to notice common problems between parents and children, and this weakens the relationship between them due to understanding and communication. We will try to talk about how to solve these problems.
The relationship between family members is not only mother, father, brother and sisters. There should also be friendships. The father is a friend with his children and; the children are friends to their mother and father.
The relations between the family consists of love, affection, commitment and this is what requires in a friendship. No one can tolerate and give you from the fruit of their hearts other than your father and mother. They care for all basic needs such as food, water, love and shelter and even abandon their sleep for your sake. No matter how much thanks, respect and appreciation, it would not be enough for our father and mother.
Our fathers loved us and this is due to the grace of Allah (The Most High). We should not let things weaken the relationship because there are many more good things they have done than what he did not do as the father takes care of everything related to his children and this is why we need to show mercy so Allah (The Most High) has mercy upon us.
"And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
[Quran, Surah Isra, 17:24]
May God have mercy on yours and my parents. This is how we should solve problems, show mercy and do not let the Shaytan control you and the way you think.
We should not say things like
"I will not give to my father as he did not give to me".
"I will not respect him because he did not respect me"
Allah says in the Quran:
"And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] are thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work the righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."
[Quran, Surah Al-Ahkaf, 46:15]
This is the end of Topic 2, we hope you enjoyed it.
Hafsa will cover Topic 3 about the Chemical Bonding with the Mother later today
This week, I will focus on how the relationship of the Prophets (peace be upon them) with their fathers.
Allah (The Most High) has given Muhammad (peace be upon him) the message of truth and guidance as well as knowledge.
How many of us have come across in the Qur'an and Sunnah about the righteousness towards our parents?
Dear readers and friends, if you reflect on the verses in the Holy Qur’an, you will find many stories of mutual righteousness between parents and children, as in the following examples:
1) Story of Prophets Jacob and Joseph (peace be upon them)
2) The story of Mary and Prophet Jesus (peace be upon them)
3) The stories of Prophets Ishmael with Ibrahim (peace be upon them)
4) The stories of Prophets Yahya with Zakaria (peace be upon them).
There are many stories and lessons we can learn from them, here I will mention some verses from the Qur'an about the Prophets and their righteousness towards their fathers (may Allah have mercy upon them).
(It was said to his son): "O Yahya! Hold fast to the Scripture.'' And We gave him wisdom while yet a child.) (And Hananan from Us, and Zakatan, and he was pious,) (And dutiful to his parents, and he was not arrogant or disobedient.).
Tafsir Ibn Kathir
[Qur'an, Surah Maryam, Verse 12 - 14]
Dear Friends, one of the lessons we can learn from the story Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) who is also the Khalil (Friend) of Allah (The Most High) is how he dealt with his father with morals, mercy, and kindness, and how he sought forgiveness and prayed for him despite his father’s secrets on disbelief:
"[Abraham] said, "Peace will be upon you. I will ask forgiveness for you of my Lord. Indeed, He is ever gracious to me."
[Qur'an, Surah Maryam, Verse 48]
In Surah Nuh, Allah says that Prophet Noah made this dua towards his parents:
"My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a believer, and all the believing men and women. And to the wrongdoers grant You no increase but destruction!''
Tafsir Ibn Kathir
[Qur'an, Surah Nuh, Verse 28]
We have briefly considered some of our role models in how we should ALL treat our fathers. Our models are the Prophets and messengers of Allah (peace be upon them) on their righteousness and benevolence towards their fathers even if they are in contradiction to the belief of Islam, they should be respected.
Next week, we will discuss common issues that occurs between fathers and children.
The role of the father in Islam is to bring up his children in a good way. Islam has given the father many rights. This includes associating the children with the father's lineage giving it more power than the mother.
Raising children is seen as a way of charity so the father must know the methods of education and its principles, principles of morals and methods of indoctrination. If he is not aware of it, he must learn the matters of religion.
The father who leaves his children without guidance or education is a warp in his instinct and is negligent. He will be asked about his role on the Day of Resurrection because children are a trust from Allah and he must preserve it.
Islam urged the fathers to be fair. Numan ibn Basheer (may Allah have mercy upon him) said:
“My father gave me a gift of some of his wealth, but my mother,"
Amrah bint Rawahah, said, ‘I will not approve of it until you ask the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) to bear witness to it.’
So my father went to the Prophet (peace be upon him) to ask him to bear witness to the gift.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said to him,
‘Have you done the same for all of your children?’
He said, ‘No.’
He said, ‘Fear Allah and treat your children justly.’
So my father came back and took back that gift.”
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Islam has mentioned the great place and respect children should have for parents who have Islamic responsibilities in raising children.
Looking after the father is a form of charity.
Allah says in the Quran (Ibn Katheer):
"And your Lord has Qadaa [decreed] that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor reprimand them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young."
[Quran, Surah Israa, Verse 23 - 24]
From here, we conclude that the father has a high position in Islam, even after his death, the son can pray for him. In a hadith, it says:
"When a human being dies all his action comes to an end except in one of three ways: A continuing act of charity, a useful contribution to knowledge and a dutiful child who prays for him.”
[Muslim, Abu Dawood, Al-Nasai and others].
Dear friends, we have briefly touched on the role of the father in Islam, I hope you like it.
Next week we will discuss the relationship between the Prophets and their fathers.
Asalamu alaykum everyone,
Topic 2 of Chemical Bonding series discusses the relationship with a father and the first short article is titled 'What is a father and his role in raising children?'. This is my first article in English and I am really happy doing this.
The presence of the father in the lives of children is protection, care, authority and family integration. The value of a father is important and should be discussed.
Children need to feel the aspects of protection, care and guidance. It is somewhat different from what they find with the mother. The father is the primary caretaker of the family and teacher and friend for the children knowing their thoughts, inclinations, hobbies and have an understanding.
In each and everyone's life, a father is one of the necessary factors in the upbringing and preparation of life challenges. The role of a man is not only housing, clothing and expenses. The father's participation in raising children is very important because it has a strong influence on the personality of the children as the father can achieve a family balance through his interest in his children and accompanying them. They then become responsible in and without his absence.
The multiple responsibilities of the father outside the home does not absolve him of his family responsibility, which is equally important where he must be a role model for his children so that they can easily mimic good behaviour in their lives rather than implementing tips and commands for behaviours they do not see.
The father, in the eyes of his children, is a perfect thing, he is their hero who imitates him in everything. His movements, his actions, his humility, his aspirations, and the father who has a clear and sound moral, financial presence in the life of his family and his children can prevent many obstacles to growth. The father must direct the children to the right path when they make mistakes at the right time.
This is what a father is.
Next week, I will write about what Islam says about a father.