Ramlah was the daughter of the chief of Makkah Abu Suffyan, she was also known by her kunya Umm Habibah. No one dared to go against her father but she alongside her husband Ubayd-ullah son of Jahsh had strong faith in Allah that were embedded in their hearts and declined believing in the idolatrous beliefs of her forefathers. Despite with all of his attempts, he could not persuade them to return to the dieties of the Quraysh.
They endured torture and hardships and were amongst those who migrated to Abysinnia for safety and peace. The leaders of the Quraysh including her father did not like that they were freed to hold their beliefs in Abysinnia and tried to persuade King Negus to allow them into their net of persecution. However, upon listening to the evidence from the Quran and examining them , he himself became a muslim and was committed to protect the people who followed the message of Prophet Muhammed (peace and blessings be upon him). When suddenly, Ramlah (may Allah have mercy upon her) dreamt that her husband was in a helpless situation in the ocean where each wave drowned him. She woke up worried for her husband and did not disclose this dream to anyone. The dream came into reality when her husband left Islam into Christianity and faced a dilemma: Should she become a Christian alongside her husband or should she return to the religion of her forefathers or should she remain as a muslim without marital support and no country. Ramlah made an amazing decision which I entirely find it inspiring. Due to her sincere devotion to Allah, she rather become a divorcee and leave the man she loved, the father of her daughter and stick to her beliefs. Her husband could not bear her departure after becoming a Christian and consumed alcohol as a way of relief and passed away. Something amazing happened one day that gave Ramlah beams of happiness. Prophet Muhammed peace and blessings asked her hand in marriage and this message was given by Abrahah; a servant of King Negus. Khalid, the son of Said, the son of Al-Aaas was her wali and many of the companions of the prophet (peace and blessings be upon them) gathered at King Negus’s palace to witness and celebrate the wedding. Ramlah was so generous that she gave some of her mahr money to Abrahah but he declined and informed her that King Negus has ordered that he should not take anything from her and there were gifts given from the women of the palace. She lived with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) until his death and narrated a number of hadiths. Lessons to be learnt: To endure the tests of this world patiently: she faced her father, her husband, her tribe for her beliefs and due to her patience, Allah granted her the most beautiful gift which was that she married Prophet Muhammed peace and blessings be upon him and her life turned from a moment of sadness to an oasis of serenity and relief. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep up the faith, keep your heart, mind and soul malice-free by continuous remembrance in Allah (The Most High).
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Julaybib was small, short and was described as being ‘damim’ meaning of an ugly, repulsive appearance. More disturbing for the society, his lineage was not known. No records could be found of what tribe his belonged to. He was judged on the basis that his family were not from a vital family nor tribal connection; thus, he was not getting any support from the society due to his socio-economic status. All that was known was that he was an Arab and was from the Ansar. Was there any hope of being treated equally and with respect? He was overlooked.
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to one of the ansars ‘I want to have your daughter married. The Ansar replied ‘Oh Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him, what a delight that would be’. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said ‘I do not want her for myself, it is for Julaybib’. The Ansari was too shocked and said ‘I will consult with her mother’. He went to his wife and told his wife what occurred. His wife was happy for the Prophet’s request of marriage but when he mentioned Julaybib, she protested ‘To Julaybib! No never, we shall not marry her to him’. However, the daughter said, ‘Do you refuse Prophet (peace and blessings be upon)’s request?, I am satisfied to whatever Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him deems good for me’. She agreed to the marriage because she had a clear understanding of following the sunnah (commands of the Prophet [peace and blessings be upon him]). She disregarded the social pressures and had confidence in the wisdom of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings on him). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said when he heard what occurred, made a supplication and said: "O Lord, bestow good on her in abundance and make not her life one of toil and trouble." They lived together happily until he was killed on an expedition with the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) asked his other companions to search for him on the field. When they found him, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) went to his body and said ‘He killed seven and then was killed? This man is of me and I am of him’. He repeated it several times and held his body and dug him a grave and placed him in it. He considered him a martyr and did not wash him before burial. Julaybib due to his lineage and appearance was considered a social outcast. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged and helped him. It increased his confidence was able to do many courageous things and sacrificed a lot. This can be emphasised when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). 'This man is of me and I am of him' Reflection: 1. On many occasions, I was discriminated by the colour of my skin from the age of 10 from different ethnic communities: Arab and Asian predominantly. I was called ‘nigger’, ‘you look black’, ‘your dad’s a slave’ ‘black olive’ ‘you are ugly’ ‘you are not arab, you must be african’ ‘how will your children look like’ ‘shiddy’ ‘kali’ ‘Abda’ ‘negro’. Many people did not want to associate with my mother because they disapproved of my father. They would only invite my mother, me and my siblings and did not invite my father. I never chose the colour of the skin but I am grateful with the shade of colour that Allah has given me. I do not wear foundation nor concealer every day because I do not want to hide my true identity. I may not be attractive, but what stops you associating with me at that point? Why could you not play with me at that point? Why could you not be my friend? Dear brothers and sisters, when you raise your children, do not let them grow hatred in them towards other children of other races. Raise them to be open-minded and mix with all. This will help them to work and study with a variety of races. 2. On many occasions, I was discriminated because I went into further education. My father nor mother are a doctor nor went into further education nor they of a middle-class nor rich heritage. A person with character I proud of who they are. I get asked ‘What does your mother or father do?’ Why does the socio-economic status matter when you want to further your education? Since when did seeking knowledge depend on the person’s family lineage or heritage. Seeking education is an option. 3. At the age of 14, I was discriminated because I was a muslim and had my scarf pulled off. Why does what I wear be a concern to you. You wear what you want, I wear what I want as part of my identity as a Muslim. This is just a short insight of my journey in this enigmatic world. If you look into the pigmentation of my eyes’ iris, you will see they are coloured brown. But if you visualise deeper, you will find there are scarred doors where some are closed, others are still open for reflection. Be privileged to be who you are and how you look like. Dear reader, you are beautiful and was created by the best of the Creators. God gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you and to love you. Love all and hate none. |
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December 2018
OverviewThis is where I will post my articles. I will do an article each month in sha Allah |