Since Valentine’s day is approaching, it would be a necessary reminder to myself first and foremost and the Ummah sallahu alayhi wa salam to cover the concepts of love, the heart, valentine’s day and marriage beidnillah.
Love…what is it? Love is a feeling that Allah subhanahu wa taala has blessed each and every one of us. Love in Islam is vast and is not restricted to one form only, which is love between a male and a female. There is love for Allah subhanahu wa taala, the Messenger of Allaah salla allahu alayhi wa salam, the Companions radi allahu anhuma, good people, Islam, family, friends and other forms of love. Therefore, one should not restrict the love to one form. A person may be loved for something and at the same time may be hated for something.The firmest handhold of faith is to love for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa taala and to hate for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa taala, to befriend those that love Allah and to renounce His enemies.
For example, when someone is angry and ends up speaking in foul language or hits a brother. His actions have rendered his anger Haraam. For the Prophet salla allahu alayhi wa salam did not forbid anger itself but what has been forbidden is when we act upon the anger unjustly. To stop anger:
Suleiman ibn Suraad radia allahu anhu relates, that he was sitting with the Prophet salla allahu alayhi wa salam when two people fell out and exchanged hot words. The face of one of them became red, and his veins of his neck became swollen. The Prophet salla allahu alayhi wa salam said:
"If he could repeat a phrase of which I know, he will get rid of the condition of which he is in. If he said, “a’udubillahii minashaytaani rajeem” (I seek refuge with Allah against Shaytaan, the rejected one) then that which he is experiencing would have gone away from him". [Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]
In the same way, love is not wrong if it is for Allah or for family etc. But this love becomes Haraam when it targeted at a boyfriend or girlfriend, a partner outside wedlock, a ‘fling’ with no repercussions.
It is mentioned in the Musnad of Imam Ahmad on the authority of Anas radi allahu anhu that the Prophet salla allahu alayhi wa salam said,
“The belief of a slave will not be straight until his heart is straight.”
This emphasises that the bodily actions will not be in accordance with Islam until the heart is. For whatever becomes a bodily action is the output of the heart. Therefore, if the heart is in accordance with Islam, one’s belief and bodily actions will be too and a core which is filled with affection for Allah subhanahu wa taala will always want to obey Him and never disobey Him.
Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal rahimahu Allah mentions:
“If his heart is sound and there is nothing in it but love of Allah subhanahu wa taala and love of what Allah loves and fear of Allah subhanahu wa taala and fear of falling into that which He dislikes, then all of the actions of the limbs will be right, and there will arise from that his avoidance of all forbidden things and his guarding himself against ambiguities in case he should fall into things which are forbidden. If the heart is corrupt and it is overcome by following desires and his seeking what he loves even if Allah subhanahu wa taala dislikes it, then all of the limbs; movements will be corrupt and will give rise to every act of disobedience and (engagement in every) ambiguous matter according to the extent of his following the hearts’ desire... For this reason it is said that the heart is the king of the limbs and organs and the other limbs and organs are its troops.”
It is for this reason the Prophet salalallahu alayhi wa salam would say in his supplication,
“O Allah, I ask You for a sound heart.”
Types of Love
[Summarised and Adapted from 'The Categories of Muhabbah (Love) are Four'
By Shaykh Ahmed al-Wasaabee;Translated by Shaakir al-Kanadee]
Allah subhanahu wa taala said:
But Allah has endeared the Faith to you and has beautified it in your hearts.
And Allah subhanahu wa taala said:
‘But those who believe, love Allah more (than anything else).’ [Al-Baqarah 2:165]
And Allaah subhanahu wa taala said:
'Allah will bring a people whom He will love and they will love Him.' [Al-Ma'idah 5:54]
Narrated Anas radia allahu anhu that the Messenger of Allah salla allahu alayhi wa salam said,
“Whoever possesses the following three qualities will have the sweetness (delight) of faith:
1. The one to whom Allah and His Messenger becomes dearer than anything else.
2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah's sake.
3. Who hates to revert to Atheism (disbelief) as he hates to be thrown into the fire.” [Bukhari, no. 16 and Muslim,no.43]
2) LOVE FOR THE PROPHET salla allahu alayhi wa salam
Love of the Messenger necessitates love of Allah subhanahu wa taala. And the proof of this:
[Say (O Muhammad to mankind): "If you (really) love Allah, then follow me (i.e. Muhammad), Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.''). [(Say: "Obey Allah and the Messenger.'' But if they turn away, then Allah does not like the disbelievers.] [Surah Al-Imran 31-32]
From ‘Abdullah ibn Hishaam (radi allahu anhu) said ‘We were with the Prophet when he took ‘Umar ibnul-Khattab by the hand. So ‘Umar said, “O Messenger of Allah! By Allah, you are more beloved to me than everything except for myself.” So the Prophet said, “No, by the One in Whose Hand my soul is, not until I am more beloved to you than your own self.” So ‘Umar said to him, “So now, by Allaah, you are more beloved to me than my own self.” So the Prophet said, “Now, O ‘Umar.”’ [Bukhari, no. 6257]
From Anas ibn Maalik (radi allahu anhu) who said, the Prophet said, “No one from amongst you has truly believed until I am more beloved to him than his father, his son, and all of the people.” [Bukhari, no.15 and Muslim, no. 44]
Furthermore Allah subhanahu wa taala ordered us to follow the Prophet salla allahu alayhi wa salam, and if we follow the Messenger, then this necessitates that Allaah (subhaana wa ta’laa) will love us.
Allah (subhanahu wa taala) says:
'And whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad salla allahu alayhi wa salam) gives you, take it, and whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it)' [Al-Hashr 59:7]
And the statement of Allah (subhanahu wa taala):
'Follow what has been inspired to you from your Lord'. [Al-An'am 6:106]
3) SHIRK (Shirk of Love)
It is to love something or someone other than Allah as one loves Allah or greater.
Allah subhanahu wa taala said:
'And of mankind are some who take (for worship) others besides Allah as rivals (to Allah). They love them as they love Allah.’ [Al-Baqarah 2:165]
This is the love of the mushrikeen and the love of shirk. The mushrikeen during the time of the Prophet were in agreement and affirmed the Robobiya (Lordship) of Allah (subhana wa taala).
4) MA'SEEYAH (Love in Disobedience)
Such as loving the haram and the bid’ah (innovation) and the sins and such as loving the people of innovation and desires and sinning, and other than that from the loving this opposes the legislation of Allah.
Allaah (subhanahu wa taala) said:
‘And you love wealth with much love!’ [Al-Fajr 89:20]
And because of this He has sanctioned them by the following verse:
‘Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As-Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times, etc.] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell.' [Maryam 19:59]
5) MUHABA AL TABEE3AH (The Natural Love)
Such as loving the children, friends, family, nature and the soul and the wealth, and other than that from the permissible matters, however it must be natural love.
But if it distracts a person from obedience to Allah and he leaves some of the obligatory things then it is the Love of Disobedience (Muhabbah Ma’seeyah). And it overtakes his life and his heart and he loves them as he loves Allah or greater, then that is Shirk of Love (Muhabah Shirkiyah).
Allaah (subhanahu wa taala) said:
Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world's life; but Allaah has the excellent return (Paradise with flowing rivers, etc.) with Him. [Al Imran 3:14]
Say: "Shall I inform you of things far better than those? For Al-Muttaqoon (the pious) there are Gardens (Paradise) with their Lord, underneath which rivers flow. Therein (is their) eternal (home) and Azwaajun Mutahharatun (purified mates or wives) [i.e. they will have no menses, urine, or stool, etc.], And Allaah will be pleased with them. And Allaah is All-Seer of the (His) slaves". [Al-Imran 3:15]
The Prophet salla allahu alayhi wa salam said:
‘When a man loves his brother, he should tell him that he loves him’ [Abu Dawood and At-Tirmithi]
In another Hadith, he said: "By Him in Whose Hand my soul is, you will not enter Paradise unless you believe, and you will not believe unless you love each other.Should I direct you to something that if you constantly did it, you wouldlove each other? Spread the greetings of peace among you." [Muslim]
Talking about the Mountain of Uhud, the Prophet, said: "This is Uhud, a mountain which loves us and we love it." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
Is anyone going on a Valentine’s date? You’re taking the shaytine with you!
Someone asked Shaykh Ṣaliḥ al-Suḥaymi: “Indeed tomorrow corresponds with the fourteenth of February which is recognized as Valentine’s Day in the West, and some of our young men and women have been tempted by this holiday. So do you have a word of advice concerning this?”
Shaykh Ṣaliḥ al-Suḥaymi hafidahu allahu responded:
“This was the topic of last Friday’s khutbah (sermon), and perhaps someone from the students of knowledge recorded it, and I do believe that it was recorded in Masjid Amīr Ṣultān. I elaborated on this in detail. In brief, I mentioned that this Valentine’s Day contains seven objects of caution.
First: Its origin goes back to the Romans; it was originally called Cupid’s (Roman god of love) Day; so recognizing it is recognition of idolatry because it is imitation of the idolaters.
Second: It is blind following of the Jews and Christians, and the Messenger of Allāh (Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam) informed us of this, ‘You will follow the ways of those who came before you…’ it was said, ‘The Jews and Christians?’ He said, ‘And what other nation [could I mean] besides those?’[Collected in the Ṣaḥiḥ of al-Bukhārī (no. 3195 and 6897) and Muslim in his Ṣaḥiḥ (no. 4800) on the authority of Abū Sa’īd al-Khudrī (radhiAllaahu anhu)
] and in another wording, ‘The Persians and the Romans.’[This refers to the narration collected by al-Bukhārī in his Ṣaḥiḥ (no. 6896) and narrated by Abū Hurayrah (radhiAllaahu anhu) that the Prophet (Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “The Hour will not be established until my Ummah imitates the generations that preceded it handspan by handspan.” It was said: “O Messenger of Allah, like the Persians and Romans?” He said: “And what other nation [could I mean] besides those?”]
Third: It is imitation of the disbelievers in general. The Messenger of Allāh (Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam) stated, ‘Whoever imitates a people, he is from them.’[This refers to the ḥadīth collected by Abū Dāwud in his Sunan (no. 3494) on the authority of ‘Abd Allah ibn ‘Umar (radhiAllaahu anhu). It was authenticed by al-Albānī in Ṣaḥiḥ al-Jāmi’ (no. 6149)]
Fourth: It is an innovation that has been newly introduced by the people, and whoever innovates in this aﬀair of ours that which is not from it, it is rejected.[ Here the Shaykh (hafidhahullaah) is alluding to the ḥadīth collected by al-Bukhārī in his Ṣaḥiḥ (no. 2498) on the authority of ‘Aishah, may Allāh (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) be pleased with her, who said that the Prophet (Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam) stated: “Whoever innovates in this aﬀair of ours that which is not from it, it is rejected.”]
Fifth: It is an abomination, and everything that takes place in its observance is an abomination from the meeting up of young men and women, the correspondence that takes place between them, the sending of heart-shaped Valentine’s and what is similar to this of nonsense. All of this is imitation of the West, and we have been prohibited from imitating [the disbelieving people].
Sixth: Even those who are sensible among them (i.e. the disbelievers) have prohibited celebrating this holiday, until—I believe I heard that the Vatican, the distorted Christian Church, is stern in their prohibition of this matter.
Last: It is based upon a great myth—concerning what is called love and what it leads to from corruption. So love, in their view, is merely fornication and what leads to it. Thus, it is upon us to be wary of imitating these disbelieving people. I believe this answer is adequate, and as I have previously mentioned, I have elaborated on this in the khutbah (Friday sermon). So we will suﬃce with this, and I commend you [to Allah’s protection] until tomorrow’s lesson. May the prayers and peace be upon the our Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam), his family and companions.”
May Allah subhanahu wa taala bless the shaykh.
Marriage – a blessing for the youth
‘And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fahishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him).’ [Surah Al-'Isra':32]
The Holy Prophet (peace be upon them) requested that one should lead a good married life and warned against being a bachelor:
“Whoever loves my nature, will follow my traditions and among my traditions is marriage.” [Makaaremul Akhlaq by Sheikh Tabarsi]
On yet another occasion, he said, “The best people of my Ummah are those who get married and have chosen their wives and the worst people of my nations are those who have kept away from marriage and our passing their lives as bachelor.” [Mustadrakul Wasail by Muhaddith Noori, Vol. 2, Pg. 531].
#Keep it HALAL.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
'A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences. In this case it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly or if the man contacts woman directly, this is may leads to fitnah (temptation)'
[Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh (26/question no. 13)]